My name is Kishna. I’m a mother of 2 beautiful little toddlers, I work full time, I have a full time small business, and now I’m a blogger. My life is absolutely amazing, absolutely crazy, absolutely hectic, and absolutely all mines.
Have you ever thought of what your life would be like AFTER you decided to have children? I’m pretty sure you had everything figured out. You would have the kid (check), stay home for the full 6 weeks + to care for your child (check), you would have a spouse to help you with your child, work, and home life (check), you would work shorter hours so that you could spend more time with your child (check), you would have an awesome work/life balance (check). Now let’s look at reality. If you’re anything like me, you started back working right after you got cleared from the doctor, your spouse and you didn’t really work out according to plan, and you feel guilty because there is no way in the world your kids still remember who you are! Obviously, this isn’t the way I thought that things would go.
Okay, so I am exaggerating a bit. I have found a way to balance out my work and home life pretty decently, but it took a whole heck of a lot of practice and discipline. And a lot of guilt (on my part). Why do we always feel guilty that we aren’t spending enough time with our kids? Or that our kids are somehow being neglected if we pick them up late, work while we’re home, or we put them to bed early? This was definitely not in the plan when I decided to have children. But, who’s plans go according to schedule anyways?
This is my blog- about my life, after I had my kids. Join me for a crazy, fun, dramatic, whirlwind adventure as I laugh and cry about my crazy parenting/single/working life experiences.
Welcome, and enjoy!
Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to have a really chilled glass of wine? Then drink the whole bottle in 5 gulps? No? Yeah, neither have I. But I have had days where I want to just lay in the bed all day long and ignore all my phone calls. And my rumbling stomach. How in the heck am I supposed to deal?
I hate having bad days. It’s like I have a bad day, and that’s when my kids decide that they want to be cranky, ask me a million questions, spill their food on the floor, pee on themselves, splash water everywhere during bath time, and refuse to go to sleep. By the end of the day, I’m ready to just pull all of my hair out. I think I have pulled some out. It was by accident though; I didn’t realize my strength that day (emoji face). Why can’t all of our days just be easy going? I feel like all moms should have the luxury of not having bad days. We carried babies for 40 weeks, and some of us had to get cut open to get them out. Give us a break dagonit!
I love my job. I love my life. I love my kids. And I hate bad days. Actually, I hate CONSECUTIVE bad days. One bad day I can deal with, but bad days back to back? That’s like the world is saying “hey, you! Yeah, you! I’m going to mess with you. Just because!” I mean, I know that’s not realistic, but that’s what it feels like. If the world was a person, I think I’d kick it’s a** every once in a while. I’m just saying…
So, I’ve come up with a way to manage the stress of life. Ready? The secret is…… Play hopscotch. No, Seriously- go play hopscotch! Hoolahoop. Do jumping jacks. Play with your kids. Being active makes you feel better. The only thing is, I’m really lazy. And by the end of the day, I don’t feel like being extremely active. But then, my daughter starts singing the hokey pokey and my son starts dancing around. And all of a sudden I get this burst of energy and we all start dancing, jumping, and singing all over the house. We run around, we act silly, and we fall down laughing. The antidote to a crappy day is happy kids. At least, my antidote is.
So come on world, send me another crappy day! Well, no. Don’t actually send me another one; I hate those. But if you do send me one, my babies will make mommy feel better. And, I’ll still be gorgeous. I really wish that I could put emoji’s in this thing…. (emoji face)
There are so many self-help books and websites out now that claim to teach you how to save money and invest in your future. Open up saving accounts, IRA’s, stocks, blah, blah, blah. I’ve tried a bunch of different ways to save money, and I’ve failed a bunch of times.
So, how did I finally figure out how to save money? I didn’t. I just managed to manage my money better. I have 2 separate accounts in which I divide my money into. One account I use to pay all of my bills, and the other account I use for miscellaneous activities. And I use my online banking app. This helps me to track all of the money that I am putting out, and allows me to check what my remaining balance is.
The first thing that I do is tithe, I put 10% of whatever I make aside so that when I go to church I have it on hand. Then I pay whatever upcoming bills I have: rent, car insurance, house insurance, kids’ schools, diapers, wipes, etc, etc, etc. Whatever I have left (hopefully it’s more than $10), I use for what I need. I don’t save. At least, I don’t think this is saving. I tried putting money into a closed saving account in which I wouldn’t touch, and something random happened and I had to touch it. I gave money to a close relative to hold every time I got paid, and again I had to touch the money. I realized that I don’t make enough money to save! Lol! So I figured out that I needed additional income. So I started my own business. Now, that does make a huge difference in cash flow, and how much money I have left over after paying necessary bills.
My advice? Find something that your good at, and charge people for it. It doesn’t have to be much- $5 for helping fix resumes, $10 for babysitting, $20 for a batch of cookies or a pretty cake. And watch those small funds add up. They make a huge difference in what you have left over at the end of the month, and you’re not pinching pennies or eating ramen noodles for dinner every night of the week.
Now, don’t get me wrong- if you never learn to manage your money, you’ll always be in the red no matter what you do. You can make $300 a week or $3,000 a week and still be broke. Financial management has been a huge issue for my generation. And I have, by no means, figured out the key to making money last longer. But I am working on the key to figuring it out. It’s right next to my schematics on building my time machine. It should be completed by March 2020. 🙂
Hey guys!! It’s been a while, I know.
Have I ever told y’all what I do for a living? Cuz I am bout to now. Lol. So for my day job, I am a Program Coordinator (I come up with different things/activities that the organization can do to benefit people within the community), I am the Marketing Coordinator (I make appointments to go talk to social workers and support coordinators to introduce the company, what we do, what insurances we take, etc.), and I am the grant writer. That’s self explanatory, but for people who don’t know what grant writing is, it’s basically searching for foundations, organization, and federal funding (money) that they are willing to give to non-profits and for profits for certain projects. It’s extremely time consuming and requires a ton of research. I then started my own business doing grant writing and business consulting, and I’m working on starting a non-profit for girls and women. To say the least, I’m always doing something.
I have to force myself to not get burned out by the end of the day. Especially with two toddlers running around the house. Between the constant mommy! calls, the fighting, the toys all over my house, the juice on the floor, and my son clinging to my legs, I have a good reason to just call it quits by 9pm. But, I still have dinner to make, hair to braid, baths to give, stories to read, covers to tuck, and prayers to recite before I can have some ME time. I think I want to clone myself. One part of me will work, the other part will be the mom, and the last part will just lay around and relax for the other 2 working parts. Now, that’s a good life. We can rotate positions on a monthly basis so we all have a chance to take a break. Please, Jesus, let this become reality! Lol.
You have got to be extremely motivated to balance working and mommy life. Like, EXTREMELY motivated. Because it can and will take a toll on you. You’ll miss out on important events, a dating life, a social life, birthdays, holidays, sex…. Wait, sorry- I just went off on a mini tangent. But, as demanding as it is, I just cannot see myself doing anything else. Yes, I am ALWAYS tired (I actually dozed off twice while writing this), but I love being a mom, working with a non-profit, and running my own business. I just hope that I still have hair left by the time I turn 35… Lol!
I promise to try and do a better job at blogging. And figuring out how to do this from my cellphone. That’ll probably make my life a whole heck of a lot easier. Tootles! xoxo
Why is it that us women get taken advantage of at the mechanic’s shop? It’s like, men run the shop, and think that we women have this immeasurable amount of money to dispense on cars just because. We aren’t expected to know what a cam shaft position sensor is, where a throttle body is located, or how to replace the seal in the head gasket. Yeah, I know a thing or two.
My ex had a mechanic that he used that was pretty good with pricing and did really good work on cars. Welp, I’m single now, and I don’t have that go-between buffer of an ex that I used to have. Thus being said, an oil change now costs me $200. Changing my oil pan is expensive because, and I quote, “the front of the car has to come off and we need to move the engine in order to take the old pan off”. (emoji face). But when I Youtube’d it, it’s just a drop and swap job. My price for changing my starter was $500, but my ex’s price was conveniently only $250. Prejudice at it’s best, no?
I just do not understand why we have to pay all these crazy prices for the same exact services that men need. We make less money (even though we are smarter and more educated), we have more to pay (because realistically no matter how involved they are in their child’s lives, we always end up paying for more), and we are extremely more attractive so we should get a discount just because (emoji face! Lol).
Also, I wonder if anyone can explain to me WHY these same mechanics fix whatever it is we bring the car to them for, and then they also tamper with something else which forces us to bring the car back to them to get fixed. Again. I mean, if you want to see my pretty face, you could just ask for a picture or a date. No need to sabotage my ride. I need my mom-mobile, sir. Thanks.
Why aren’t there any female mechanics? And if they are out there, where the heck are they?! I’m tired of paying these inflated prices. Batting my lashes and wearing a short skirt hasn’t been working for me thus far. I wonder- if I wear a baseball cap and really baggy pants, will I start getting regular prices for my labor? I know how to change a tire, shouldn’t that count for something? Sheesh! You mechanics are killing us females. It isn’t fair. There should be a law against it. Or, at the very least, we should be able to get our oil changed for free. I think I’ll start a movement for that. What should my slogan be?…… I just spent like 10 minutes thinking of one and I couldn’t. I’ll get back to you on that (places note next to time machine schematics).
Heeeeeeeeeeey y’all! I haven’t been able to write a blog in such a long time- I got busy, busy, busy! I am now working on rescheduling my days so that I can come back to you beautiful people.
In the meantime, I have been a mommy (like that’s ever gonna change). My oldest is 3, in day school, and learning more than I can keep up with. I love having conversations with her because she is just HILARIOUS! At least, to me she is. I think everything is funny so I am pretty sure that that helps. Lol. The other morning I was dropping her off. The teachers ask that we take the kids to the bathroom to use it and wash their hands before bringing them to class. Ms. Spunky (who likes to be referred to as Princess Elsa) runs to the bathroom. She sits on the toilet, and here is our conversation:
Mommy: are you pooping or peeing? Princess Elsa: I’m doing both mommy! Do I stink? Mommy: no baby, you don’t stink. Princess Elsa: I smell good mommy? *inhales deeply* mmmmmmmmm, refreshing!! Mommy: *chuckling* you are so silly! Princess Elsa: mommy, does my breathe stink? Mommy: *laughing* why do you think your breath stinks? Princess Elsa: I don’t know mommy, come smell it pleeeeeeease!!! Mommy: *smells her breathe* it smells like candy momma Princess Elsa: yeah. I don’t stink huh? Where does she get this stuff from?! I promise you, I was chuckling all day long from that one conversation with her!
Here is another one of our conversations. This day, she was herself.
Bella: mommy, this is MY house. Mommy: are you sure? I thought it was OUR house! Bella: no mommy, this house is mines. You and fatfat just live here. Mommy: so do you pay all the bills also? Bella: yes mommy. Mommy: well, where do you get the money from, do you have a job? Bella: yeah mom *huffs* I work for YouTube! Mommy: YouTube? What do you do there? Bella: I make videos. I could not contain the laughter- I laughed so hard that I had tears coming from my eyes. I think I need to switch jobs and start working with her because obviously they hire anyone.
I love my toddler. I love being able to have a conversation with her because she ensures that I laugh daily. She says the silliest things with a serious face! I cannot wait until my son can have conversations with me also. These nest 2 years are going to the be funniest years of our lives.
Talk to your toddlers! And read my blog! Lol
One of my favorite tv shows was Sex and the City. I used to always believe that as I got older, I would have a group of friends; it would be the 4 of us, we would have amazing jobs, killer wardrobes, lots of money, handsome husbands (or fiances), and successful careers. I currently have 1 long time friend…..
What the heck happened? Where did all my friends go? And why did they go away? Welp…. First and foremost, I have kids. Which means that I don’t really have a lot of spare time to just go out with people for drinks and whatnot. And the closest friend I do have has kids. And a husband (that wench!), and a job, and a small business, and a new born baby….. Now that I think about it, she has the life that I’m supposed to have… Let me go call her and tell her that we can’t be friends anymore. I’ll be right back…..
Seriously. Everyone I know has kids now. And a job. And some are even starting their own small businesses. This is all great, but leaves us all with absolutely NO time for a social life (at least, that’s what I have to keep telling myself in order to make it true). The reality (at least for me) is that I’m reclusive. I’m an introvert and I like to stay to myself. Which is horrible for business! (I wish I could put emoji’s on here). So I have been forcing myself to make time and be more social. It’s actually working.
I met this young lady who has 2 children. She just graduated with her bachelors degree, and she is on her way to starting up her own small business. She’s really smart, positive, and funny. I like her. Then, of course, there’s my best friend (when I called to break up with her, she didn’t answer. So, she’s still around. Lol). She’s in school for mortuary science, and she’s started her business doing funeral obituaries. She’s pretty smart too. And, I guess I have to give her credit for sticking with me for so many years. And every black girl has to have 1 white friend. I love my white girl; she’s my Caucasian persuasion. She has a great career doing recreational therapy (google it), and she’s on her way to moving up the corporate ladder. And she has really long brunette hair that I’m always running my fingers through. Hold on, I have to call her too….. And there’s my younger girlfriend who has a really cushy job working at a university. Easy hours, great pay. She’s going back to school for her masters, and then to get a better job with easy hours and great pay. She’s also very smart. Then there’s…. wait. No, that’s all I have as friends. (Again, a perfect emoji insert right here!)
Am I the only person at the age of 29 (minus 1.5 months; don’t judge me) to only have 4 friends? Wait- I just realized that I have my clique! Ooooooohhhhhhh, I need to make a girls night and invite everyone over for drinks and games and crabs! But my best friend has a crazy work schedule and when she comes home her husband goes to work, and the recent grad works kind of late hours so the weekends probably would be best, my Caucasian persuasion has a 2nd job that she works most days so I would have to see when she’s free…. See? (Again, PERFECT emoji insert!!!!!)
Anyways, having a life and kids and friends and a social life is like trying to stick the thread into a needle hole- it’s possible, but you gotta be damned good at it! Lol! Or like trying to get my 19 month old son to eat with a spoon and not make a mess. Unless its dry foods, it’s nearly impossible! I’m working on it. The schematics for that is right next to my time machine; just another project that I’m working on mastering. Wait, have I even mastered ANY of my projects yet?…… (You guessed it, emoji insertion!!!)
Full time job, full time small business, full time mom, and dating. Where does that fit in?
I am one of those old school moms- if I’m dating someone, you do not need to meet my kids. I think that’s fair. I mean, what guarantee do I have this it’s going to work? I need to make sure that my kids aren’t randomly meeting a new man every 4 months. Plus, there are a lot of weird people out there. But um, when do I have the time to date? Let’s see…. Work, kids, dinner, bath time, bed time, computer work, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. Can I fit a date somewhere in there?
How am I supposed to date? This is how I think it’ll go: I’m pumping gas in my car, and a tall handsome man walks over to me. “Hey, I’m Jax” (I like that name, it’s kind of sexy). “Hi Jax, I’m Kishna.” “So what do you do, Kishna?” “Well, I work full time, own a small business, and I’m a mom.” “How many kids do you have?” “2, a boy and a girl” “So, when can we spend some time together?” “I don’t know, I’ll have to put it into my schedule, find a sitter, and shave. I’ll let you know.” Yeah….. I don’t think that it will go over well. Especially because I really don’t feel like shaving….
Okay, so I do get breaks. My kid’s dad picks them up and gives me a few days off, but then I’m exhausted from when I had them. I need to catch up on my sleep and whatever work that I missed. And, I’m not coming over to “netflix and chill”. Whatever happened to the days where guys came to your door and picked you up, held doors open for you, pulled out your chair, and paid the WHOLE bill after dinner? I once went out with a guy that took me to a diner, asked me if I wanted to split the MEAL, then stated he was going to ask for separate checks. The bill was only $21.25 (yes, I distinctly remember the total). Needless to say, we haven’t been on another date since. Or, the guy who MET me somewhere (because I don’t like people knowing where I live), and he asked me for gas money…. Or the guy who was texting me and asked me could we have sex. I replied “no”, and he said, okay then have a great life. Or, the guy who kept sending pictures of his private parts to me; when I didn’t reciprocate, he proceeded to curse me out and said that I wasn’t that pretty to be acting all “boujie”. I once met a guy who fell in love with me. Via texts. We never actually went on a date. I had to block his number. And there was this white guy who insisted on showing me why white guys are “where it’s at”. I have NOT had the best of luck when it comes to dating.
So now, I’m just kind of…. Waiting. For God to tap me on the shoulder, and point to a guy somewhere in the crowd and say “that’s the one!” If only it was that easy, huh? The second option is if you have an older brother/cousin/uncle/friend that is handsome. I’m in the market for a tall, well educated, financially stable, already has children (because I am not having any more!), God-fearing, kind man. Tell him that Kishna said “heeeeeeeeeeeeeey!” (I really need to figure out how to make emoji’s! Lol)
So, I have finally moved into my own house. It’s a beautiful 3 bedroom, full basement, small backyard twin that is perfect for my kids and I. And I am excited that I am finally on my OWN- with no man, no best friend, no dad, no cousin, no one! Just me, myself, and I. Oh, and the kids. But I absolutely hate packing and unpacking!!!!
This is the most tiresome thing that I have ever done! Where did all of these clothes, shoes, appliances, nick-knacks, EVERYTHING come from? And how the heck did it all fit into where I was staying at before? I never even knew that I had half of the things that I had; like, my mom sent me 2 blenders. Two blenders! Packed between a vase, some coffee cups, and a cereal jar holder thingy. By no means am I complaining- I am overly blessed to have a house full of things. But man oh man I do NOT want to unpack all of it! Would I be wrong if we just lived out of boxes for the next month or two? I mean, kids love boxes. Their toys are in their room. And I think I can find the bag where I put all of their clothes…..
I’ve been moving around so much, that this morning I woke up and my whole entire body was sore. For a second, I questioned whether or not I had been to the gym. Hey-maybe when I am all done, I’ll have some abs. And even some toned arms. That would definitely be an upside to all of this moving. Okay, let me be completely honest- packing was super easy. I threw everything in either a box or a bag and told the movers to “load em all up!” Unpacking is the pain. I literally have boxes and bags in the kitchen, living room, hallways, dining room…. I can’t even tell where one room ends and the other begins because it’s so many boxes laying around. Last night, I was so tired, that I just pushed things to the side, turned on Netflix, and pretended that I was at my dads on the bed watching tv. That fantasy didn’t last very long- there was a box in the way (emoji insert).
The best part about moving is moving into something that you want. The worst part is unpacking. You know, now that I think about it…. I wonder if I go on Angie’s List if I can find someone to unpack and organize my house for me… Now THAT would be something worth paying for! Lol!
Stay tuned for the next crazy adventure of #balancinglifeandkids ! Dun dun duuuuuun! Lol
As a business owner, social media is supposed to be the most amazing thing known to me, right? It’s supposed to allow me the platform to get my products and services out to the world and attract attention to me. But there’s just one problem. TIME! I barely have time to post to my own personal social media and now I’m supposed to post for my business too? Like, who comes up with this stuff?
I have this amazing app on my phone called “When to Gram”. It figures out when the most people that I am following and are following me are logged into social media and tells me so that I can post and they all can see and like it. It works great- when I actually use it. But it always goes off when I’m right in the middle of doing something- like actually working, or driving the kids to school, or making dinner, or enjoying the 2 second break that I get to use to go to the bathroom. Then, it’s just goes unnoticed…..
When I am actually able to use my social media, it works great. People see what I do and comment and I’ve been able to get business from it. Which means that I have more work to do. Which makes me busy. Which means I cannot be on social media…. Do you see my cycle problem here? I want to force myself to break away from everything that I am doing for just 5 minutes and manage my social media. But then when I’m actually able to do that I just wanna take a quick nap. Lol! Eventually I’ll figure out how to manage everything entailing work and social media. But until then, social media always takes a back seat because it doesn’t pay me. Man oh man, if social media paid me, I would LIVE on there. Eat, sleep, breathe, everything on social media! Show me the money Instagram and Facebook!!
In short, if you’re looking for a grant writer or a business consultant you can hire me. My IG is @egd_grants and my Facebook is Exponential Growth & Development. If not, then can you please share my information with someone? It will really help grow my business and I would greatly appreciate it. 😉
Thank you! xoxoxoxo