Boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy falls in love with girl, they have a happily every after, right? I always hated these Cinderella stories because no one ever told you what happens AFTER the happily every after. That’s when all the real magic starts- when boy always leaves his boxers on the kitchen counter and girl has her hair all in the bathroom sink and no one has washed the dishes in a week. When life settles in and you start complaining about how much of an insensitive dirty little man boy is to your friends, this is when the real magic starts to happen…..
How many times have you complained about you significant other to your friends and family? “You won’t BELIEVE what Peter did to me last weekend, ooooohhhhh I hate his ass so much!” Sound familiar? It’s normal for us to vent to the people who are closest to us about the issues going on in our relationship, but do we realize the effect that causes between our friends/family and our partners?
I remember being in a relationship with my ex who treated me horribly. He constantly said mean things to me but they were only said at home, behind closed doors. When I finally started talking to people about what was going on, I looked crazy! Because after I vented and cried to my friends for hours, I would hang up and go right back to my partner. I remember my one friend flat out told me to stop calling her when something happened because I would only end up going back to him so she didn’t want to hear about it. At the time, that cut like a knife and severly tained our relationship. But looking back at it now, I see and understand EXACTLY where she was coming from. We tend to talk about the bad THE MOST in our relaionships. Our partners can cook, clean, care for the kids, fix our cars, be handy around the house, and break our backs during sex- but because he can’t figure out how to put the bedframe together on our new bed set he’s a worthless, useless man. I think it’s human nature to make the bad a big deal, but that usually results in our friends and family only seeing the bad in the person that we are dating. That’ll bite us in the ass eventually.
There have been plenty of good men in relationships who have been thrown under the bus by their partners because of something that happened that was vented about to her friends and family. And once that FIRST situation happens, the rest is downhill. Now, whenever they see him, it’s a side eye, a whisper, an unenthusiastic hello. And all the while things have gone back to normal in your relationship and in your house. You’re in love, and they think you’re stupid. So I came up with a few ideas (or pointers) on how to keep your spouse from looking like the bad guy:
As long as you love your partner, you’ll never want others to see them in a negative light. But YOU are the person that has control over that. If you don’t mind looking crazy for always going back to your partner- by all means, talk to everyone about what goes on in your relationship. But if you want peace and positivity shown on your relationship, keep it quiet. Keep it to yourself and work on your issues in house. You’ll be happier in the long run.
As always, be legendary KING; be extraaordinary QUEEN!