“You are so pretty for a dark skinned girl!”

So, funny story. A few weeks ago, my daughter came up to me and asked me what color was my skin. I told her that mommy is chocolate. She proceeded to tell me that her skin was lighter than mines, and her cousins was lighter than hers. After we identified and discussed the different shades of our blackness, I told her “but we are all beautiful, right?” Her response “yea, we are. But, I’m still lighter than you mommy!” My daughter is 3..

Skin tone and color has reared its ugly head and become a huge issue within the black community. There is a light skin, brown skin, and dark skin complex amongst both the male and female community. Which to me is actually crazy, until  I think about my preference of the men that I date.

I really do not like it when people (especially the older generations) tell me that I am pretty for a “dark-skinned” girl. First of all, I am almost 30 and I have 2 children. I am a woman, thank you! Secondly, I am pretty-PERIOD! Not in spite of me being a darker complexion. And I’m not even that dark- if you put me next to a milk chocolate candy bar, I match up perfectly. Which means I probably taste just as good. I’m just saying…. There are a million and one reasons that the black community has for why they believe that the lighter complexed people are more “sought after” or “more desirable” than the darker skinned population. Going back to slavery, and slaves being raped, and whatever what have you. That’s all fine and good, but shouldn’t that equate to status and not beauty? And why is it that someone who is lighter than me is also more beautiful than I? SOLELY BECAUSE THEY ARE LIGHTER! I have never understood that logic amongst the black community. Beauty should not be defined by complexion it should be defined by actual physical attributes. I know plenty of light-skinned women who are not pretty, just as I know plenty of dark-skinned women are not pretty. And let’s not get started on the black people that they put on tv….

So, if I am being completely honest, I subconsciously fall under that category as well. While I do not have a particular “type” when it comes to dating men, I have noticed that I prefer lighter complexed men over darker ones. Why, I do not know. But, I also prefer tall men over short, and fit men over… let’s call them husky. But, I have dated them all. And I would date them all again. Put me in a dark room with 5 men: I will choose the one with the deepest baritone, with the softest (and biggest) hands, and who smells amazing. And he would probably not be my type with the lights on. Lol! But let me see a line up of 10 men, and I will more than likely gravitate to someone shades lighter than me. But it’s not because one is more attractive than the other- I have met some fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine ass chocolate brothers in my life. And some even fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiner dark skin men. Just thinking about it is making me a bit sweaty. To me, one is not better, more attractive, or more desirable than the other. It’s just a preference; because I will take a tall, dark chocolate, sexy brother over an average light skin one any day!

So, my point? I am beautiful- not because my complexion is chocolate, but because my lips are full, my eyes are deep, my face is beautifully crafted, my hair is lustrous, my hips are curved, my ass is fat, and my legs are long and lean. My physique is sexy, my face is attractive, and my complexion is just the icing on the cake. I am beautiful, despite being a dark-skinned woman!

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