I Think My Mom Is My Muse…

I think one of the toughest parts of growing up and being an adult is figuring out who you are, and what you want to do. Actually taking the time and doing some self inventory and knowing what you want. I’m almost 3 decades in and I’m still trying to figure it out…

When I graduated high school, I wanted to be just like my mom. Work with people who needed care, in the home health aide industry, and/or working with kids. Went to school and majored in Social Work because I just knew that this was the field that I was meant to be in. Then I got into a fender bender and became partially paralyzed. That’s when my life became interesting.

I left the dirty south moved back north. Finished up and got my Associates degree in Social Work. By this time, I met my children’s father and he was working as a daycare director. So I started contracting as a PCA and  TSS worker. I actually loved it, but I knew that it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t beat those kids. That in and of itself vexed me enough to get out of that line of work. *Between you and me, these white people need to beat their kids. I wish my daughter would tell me to shut up and get out of her face. When she stomps her feet and I give her that look, she runs into the other room screaming “I’m sorry mommy, please!!” Why are white people afraid of their own children?* (insert emoji with eyes rolled up)

I became pregnant with my daughter and had a ton of complications. I should’ve known just by that alone that she didn’t like me very much. Before she even came out the womb she was kicking my ass, but the minute she heard her father’s voice she would do backflips. This little thing would sit on my lungs, reject everything I ate for the first 5 months, caused me to have mini panic attacks at least twice daily… The list went on. I eventually had to stop working because I kept having to call out of work. So I became a stay at home mom. That is very BORING!!!! Especially when the child is a newborn and doesn’t do anything. So, me being at home didn’t last very long. Went back to PCA contracted work, but by then I was over it. I got pregnant again (I was a fast little thing wasn’t I?) and my mom asked me to come work for her. At first I was super reluctant, but I did it anyways. I ended up loving it.

I did marketing and PR for her non-profit. I always thought that I was this super shy person who no one liked or wanted to talk to. Boy, was I wrong! I excelled in this profession more than I thought that I would- I was great at networking, great at talking to and connecting with people, great at public relations. I was just great. And it made me re-evaluate my line of work.

A few years later, my mom (again) encouraged me to look into grant writing. I was on the computer all day anyways doing research to see who and how I could market to, so I figured why not. And again, I loved it. (I’m starting to think that my mom knows me better than I know myself!!) Took a few courses, and boom-started writing grants. I was a little shaky at first, but I got the hang of it quickly. Even turned it into a business. It might be slow at times, but it is definitely lucrative. Thanks mom!

And now I have ventured into a new line of work. I went to a seminar with my mom (her again) and I fell in love all over again with working with kids; just at a different level. Creating development curriculums to help youth and young adults develop skills necessary to becoming successful adults. I will be going back to school for Social Work and getting my license, and becoming a Youth Development Consultant. All with the guidance of my momma.

I say all of this to say that you may never know what you want to be (professionally and sometimes personally) until you go through life. Try different things. And listen to your mom (but only if she has your best interest at heart). My mom was with me every step of the way, and she saw things in me that I didn’t see in myself. She’s awesome, and NO I will not share her. Get your own. Thanks.

Anywho, I’m off to venture into a new project. Tootles!


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