As a child, I used to love reading books. Even into my adulthood, I chose to read rather than watch tv. I’m currently reading a book called “Gentlewoman” by Enitan O. Bereola II. It’s a man’s interpretation of what a Lady should be. And it got me to thinking.
I think we in the 21st century have forgotten what it is to be an actual LADY! We are so concerned with what society wants us to be, what our men want us to be, what our children want us to be, and what we have come to make ourself. And we have forgotten and neglected what makes us a woman. I know at some point that I have. It’s funny, because as I am reshaping my ideology of who I am, what I want, and who I want to end up with, I find this book. Maybe this is God’s way of saying “you’re on the right path baby girl”.
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like females are forced into this BOX and have a hard way of being individualized into actual people. We have to be successful because we are undervalued at work (when in all actuality we work harder than our male co-workers), we have to raise our children with little to no help from their fathers, and we have to upkeep our appearance because men want something pretty to look at and keep on their arm. Which is why I refuse to wear make up. You’re either gonna love me and my adult acne and oily skin, and my 2-cesarian-section-baby-belly, or you can find someone else to bother. Either way, it makes me no nevermind.
What is a lady? Websters says that it’s a woman of superior social status. So does that mean that someone of my social status can’t be a lady? Because I have absolutely no social life. And my bank account doesn’t exactly match a high-social-status-life either. How can I be a lady, and what does being a lady look like/reflect? It would be completely easy to say that it varies per person, but that isn’t true. Just like there is an across-the-board expectation of being a mother, a wife, and a good friend, there is a set expectation of being a lady. Whether or not you want to follow that guideline is a different story…
I’m still learning what it means to be a lady, just like I’m still learning who I am and what I want out of life (though, some chocolate cake with fudge icing would definitely help put me at peace right now). I do know that I want to possess certain qualities like being kind, polite, intelligent, sexy (NOT SLUTTY!! I realize that today’s generation make the two interchangeable and they are not! You can be sexy fully dressed; try it. It may warrant you the POSITIVE attention that you have been looking for ladies!), humble yet dominant, and I want to be memorable. I want people to walk away from me and still remember me a year later because of the presence that they felt when they met me.
My goal is to be the woman that I want my son to bring home, and the lady that my daughter wants to be when she gets older. The woman my husband is proud to show off, and the lady that is constantly admired. I strive to be successful, a goal-digger (so that I can afford my own gold!), and an amazing role model. But, in the meantime, I want the luxury of not always having my hair perfect, wearing sweatpants out of the house, eating ice cream out of the carton, running out of milk when I’m preparing cereal for breakfast, and yelling when I get upset at someone. I have like 6 and a half more months until I turn 30- I’ll use that as the marker to start being a lady on a daily basis.