Having a baby is one of the most amazing experiences in the world. Being able to give life is something I think that every mother should experience if they are capable. But what happens when you’re now a mom who has a little person on your tail with a husband or a boyfriend who’s starting to feel neglected? Or a vagina that starts to crave attention?
Having sex is a joyous act- at least, it used to be. Once I started having little people it became like a game of chess. When, where, for how long, how loud can I be- these are all questions that now have to be answered just to get a little dick action. And for a lot of women, their sex drive decreases and they can’t get wet. I can’t count how many times a mom has told me that she just doesn’t want to have sex anymore because it hurts or she’s too tired. Ladies: WE NEED TO GET OUR SEX ON! I am a huge advocator of sex, especially as a parent. Because if you can’t find any peace in your house, you gotta grab some. And sex is the perfect way to grab even just a small portion of peace. And dick. Let’s talk about it!
- Play with yourself! Get to know your vagina and your clitoris. Start off small- buy water-based lubrication. Go right to Walmart and get the KY Water-Based Gel lube (or the Walmart brand version for a couple of bucks cheaper). Pop the protective shield off, squirt some on a CLEAN finger! (because I’ve made the mistake of eating spicy hot wings, wiping my hands with the cleaning wipes, then deciding that I was horney and not actually washing my hands and almost ended up in the emergency room) and get to exploring. Or use a detachable shower head and spend a little extra time washing off your vagina area. You know, just to make sure she’s clean. Or you can buy a “bullet” vibrator from Amazon. You won’t need the lube, just a battery, and place it ever so gently against your clitoris until you’ve reached your satisfaction. Trust me- you’ll be happy that you did!
- Go on dates with your partner! One of the issues why sex and intimacy start to fade after a child is because the time spent being intimate with your partner decreases (sometimes even fading!). Bring back that oneness, that togetherness, make each other feel valued and important again. Alone time with other adults is important but alone time with your partner is crucial. Laugh, talk, cry, and learn each other again. It will make sex that much more special.
- Get some ME time (or in this case, YOU time)! Yes- you are an awesome mom but you need a break. Pack some clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, food- whatever. Pack it up for ALL of your kids and send them off somewhere. You need a break. You won’t feel sexy if you’re always tired and chasing after a kid. You need to sleep because no man wants a woman who’s going to lazily throw that ass back. Rest, take a long hot bath, light some candles, and relax. Get back your energy. Then throw something sexy on, do your hair and makeup, drink some wine, and fall in love with yourself again. You’ll be way more comfortable and way more open to sex once you are rested. You’ll have the energy too.
- If all else fails, watch some porn! I myself don’t particularly like porn but I have plenty of videos between myself and my ex-lover that we used to pass back and forth. Those always get me in the mood to be frisky. Mostly because I love watching myself have sex. Hey- kids didn’t stop my sex drive, what can I say? Record yourself! Even if you’re just dancing in the mirror- do something sexy and record it so that you can watch it later. Or record some porn. Something that definitely turns you on and will definitely get you in the mood.
The whole goal of this is to have sex! Release your body from the everyday stress of being a mom, and let go of pent up tension, aggression, and whatever else you are holding in your body. Sure, you could go to the gym and just work out but it won’t feel as good and it won’t bring you closer to your partner. Sex not only helps YOU out, but it brings you closer to your significant other, allows you to have a healthier relationship with the people around you (because if you are clear-headed, you can approach situations differently), it will help you burn calories, and it’ll at the very least give you a break from the kids. Whether it’s for 2 minutes or 45, that’s time spent in pure pleasure.
Oh- and have sex when you’re angry. I know that almost every woman that I know says the complete opposite, but that’s when I have sex the most. I can be in the middle of an argument with my partner and I’ll just blurt out “come fuck me right now!” Why? Because 1- the argument probably is something that can easily be solved if we both take our emotions out of it (which sex will help with), 2- now I am frustrated and angry and need to release all of my anger (which sex will help with), and 3- that allows me to gain back power and control over the situation and the argument because me down on my knees with my man’s penis in my mouth, his balls in one hand, and his nipple in between my fingers will get me whatever I want.
I could go a lot further into detail, but we’ll leave this post as PG-18 as possible. Have sex, I know I will. Matter of fact, let me call my boy toy now. I’ll catch up with you moms (and dads) later.
As always, be legendary KINGS; be extraordinary QUEENS!