I am a mom of 2 amazing children. They aren’t amazing every day, but overall they do a good job maintaining that title. What wasn’t amazing was the state in which they left my stomach. It’s been 5 years since I gave birth to my last child, but it has been a struggle to get my stomach to go back to a size that I am comfortable with.
Now, if I am being honest, my work schedule doesn’t always allow me the opportunity to work out and stay active the way that I would like. And my stress and eating habits aren’t always the best. I could probably do a lot better with eating healthier and working out more. With that being said, I am not big. I still maintain a slim-ish figure and I am in a healthy shape. But pregnancy destroyed my stomach. I’m talking stretch marks, stretched skin, stretched everything!
I often had people ask me if I was carrying twins in my stomach because it was so big. Now, I am very self-conscious about it. I wear loose-fitting clothes to try to hide it, I wear high-waisted jeans, and wearing 2-piece bikinis in the summer is out of the question. Realistically my stomach probably isn’t that bad, but in my head, I look pregnant again. And I hate it. I have been to the gym (until I found out that I had arthritis in BOTH of my knees and had to stop) but I didn’t see any change in my stomach. Everywhere else toned up nicely, but the baby belly still stayed. This fupa-pouch is a determined little sucker.
This issue played on my self-esteem. I’m not fit enough to wear certain outfits, my stomach is too big to be attractive, people are going to think that I’m pregnant. These are all thoughts that constantly swam around in my head. Then, I met someone who completely changed that. After 2 years of giving birth to my last child and dealing with this belly issue, someone walked into my life and changed the way I looked at myself. He knew I wasn’t too thrilled with the way it looked and always went out of his way to kiss my belly, hold my belly, and tell me how beautiful I looked without any clothes on. He took me out of my own head and showed me how beautiful I was despite what I thought about myself. His favorite line was “but you gave birth to 2 kids and you still look sexy as shit”. He would get mad at me for calling myself fat, would hate when I wore a waist trainer, and always snuck me snacks and foods. He didn’t see anything wrong with how I looked, so why did I? Let’s not mention the fact that my kids think that my “squishy” belly is the best toy in the house. I told my daughter that I was going to cut my belly off and she became visibly sad. I asked her why and she responded, “now I won’t have anything to lay on when we’re having movie night”. I had to quickly run out of the room and burst into laughter.
I say all of this to say 2 things. 1- we put way too much pressure on how we are supposed to look. We pluck, tweeze, squeeze, pinch, prod, and cover up a body that literally brings life into the world. We are amazing people and we need to accept and love our bodies. And 2- get out of your head! We tend to think the worst of ourselves, and if something is wrong and you really don’t like it, make a change. You are worth it, and then some. So stop limiting yourself, and go out and get it done! No one will ever love you more than you love yourself, so make you sure you fall in love with YOU over and over again!
As always, be legendary KINGS; be extraordinary QUEENS!