A Letter To My Children

To my miracle child, and my guardian angel- mommy loves you. God knew exactly what he was doing when he sent to both of you into my life, and I wanted to let you know that I am extremely proud of you.

My miracle baby. I went through a lot before you came into my life. I had many doctors tell me that I wouldn’t be able to conceive you. I went through 2 rounds of invitro, and was told that my uterus wouldn’t be able to hold you. I had given up on having children, and was considering traveling the world before adopting. Your dad has just proposed to me only a few weeks before you made me sick. That’s how I found out about- I went to the hospital because I couldn’t get out of bed one day. Only to find out that I had you growing inside of me. It was one of the best days of my life. You changed me. Feeling you grow inside of me, watching you on the monitors, listening to your heart beat. It transformed what I believed was love and helped me to finally and fully understand how God loves me. You were His gift to me, and I promised God that I would always take care of you. When they cut me open and pulled you out, your very first cry melted my heart, and when I laid eyes on you I knew that I had finally attained perfection. You were the most beautiful little white baby I had ever seen in my life. Although I did think that people would think that I kidnapped you because you were so pale. Lol. I couldn’t believe that I- Kishna- had created and carried you. To this day I am amazed with you- how smart you are, how funny, how caring, how charismatic. You will always be my miracle baby.

My angel. Boy oh boy was mommy going through a tough time when you were conceived. Mommy and daddy were always fighting and I had made some really bad mistakes when I found out that I was pregnant with you. Mommy was dealing with mental and emotional issues and caring for another baby wasn’t very high on my list of short term goals. I told your nana that I wasn’t ready for you, and she begged me to keep you and give you to her. That was the best advice I had ever taken from her. When I was at my lowest points, you gave me hope. When I was feeling helpless, you helped me stay grounded (probably because you were so heavy in my stomach that you were weighing me down! Lol!). When I wanted to give up, I knew that I couldn’t because I needed to make sure you were ok. You helped mommy to stay sane in an insane period of my life. You helped me to remember that I had a purpose, a goal, and a reason to live and to fight. When they cut me open and pulled you out, your bright eyes made me see that everything that I went through was for you, to help you get here because you had a purpose. And when they took you from me, I knew I had to fight to be with you again. You are still my foundation. And you will always be.

To my children. Always know that mommy loves you, mommy will always be with you, and mommy will never leave your side. I will be your biggest cheerleader, your constant voice of reasoning, and the connection to God to show you good vs evil. You are my greatest accomplishments, and I hope to always make you as proud as you make me. I love you.

As always, be legendary Kings; be extraordinary Queens!

-tootles!

xoxo

8 thoughts on “A Letter To My Children

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