So, as I lay here in bed (being completely lazy) and think about my relationship, my past relationships, and my friends relationships, I realize that relationships have something in common with raising children- you have to teach your man to do what you want just like you do with your kids.
I imagine that this statement won’t go over very well with my male readers. This isn’t for you. (cheesing emoji). Ladies! Let’s think about it! So- my example (because I always love talking about my kids) is when I was trying to teach my son to use the big boy bathroom. Let’s state some facts (note: these facts are true for the male gender, regardless of age). Fact 1: men are lazy. I don’t care how hard you work for your job, a sport, or anything. When you get home, and sit in front of that computer or tv, you’re not getting up for anything. You are lazy, and will refer any and everything to mom, a girlfriend, an older female relative, friend, etc. It’s a fact. Fact 2: men are dirty. There’s no reason why you miss the toilet bowl when you’re peeing. There’s no reason why your white washcloth is brown after you shower. There’s no reason why your feet stink so bad (eek!). There’s no reason why you have stains in your boxers (emoji eye rolled up). Fact 3: we cannot ask you to do anything just once. We WOMEN have to repeatedly ask you to do something over, and over, and over, and over, and over (have I made my point?). Fact 4: because of us, you are made amazing (just needed you to know this). Now- back to my story. I had to repeatedly deal with accidents, slow runs to the bathroom, and an unwillingness to be taught. What worked? Even when he had an accident, I told him that it was ok and encouraged him. I made up a song, did a little dance, smiled, told him that I loved him. And you know what happened, the accidents became less frequent, and now he’s fully potty trained.
How does this convert to being in a relationship? That’s how men are. Although men have good intentions, they make the dumbest mistakes. We as women tend to get mad at them, especially if they don’t fix their errors the way that we want them to. Well, I was talking to a close friend of mine and she was telling me about her boyfriend and the dumb stuff that he’s always doing. And I had to keep reminding her -MEN ARE DUMB! Sorry guys, but it’s true (oh well emoji). We have to train men to do what we want. When they make a mistake, they normally do something to make up for it. Instead of having an attitude when accepting the gift or gesture, try encouraging and congratulating him. (Now- hear me out ladies, I think I may be on to something). My guy makes mistakes. After I fuss at him (oh yes- I still fuss!), I encourage him. I show him what I like and when he does it I go overboard with enthusiasm. Don’t let him make extra time for me- I may just rock his night (wink, wink). Simple things like good morning texts, impromptu dates, him accommodating some weird request that I made… When he complies, I congratulate him. We don’t have very many arguments needless to say. *Disclaimer- this is for men who legitimately want to make an effort to please his women, and not the “ain’t ish” guys who are using and disrespecting their women!*
What is my point? We women expect men to have this mature understanding on how to be in a relationship, how to treat women, how to deal with women, etc. But realistically that’s untrue. Men, no matter the age, need to be coached, coaxed, and taught to be with females. Especially because all women are different. We like different things, handle situations different, etc. So, in order to have the perfect mate, we must create him. Men love to be encouraged, their ego’s love stroking. Instead of yelling and screaming when they mess up (and yes, I am speaking to myself as well), let’s remember that they need to be taught. My guy makes a decent amount of money, but isn’t keen on buying gifts. I like gifts. So, I buy him gifts. He receives them very well. Now I get gifts. I love good morning and I Love You texts. So, I send them. He may not do it every single day, but I definitely get them more often. I love to cuddle. Well, he does too so that works out well. Lol. But teach your man to give you what you want instead of going elsewhere. What’s that phrase- the grass isn’t always greener on the other side? If we all watered the grass that we had, ours would definitely be green as well. Anything worth having, is worth fighting for (in this case, worth training). Whoever said “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” didn’t have patience, treats, and a hot meal waiting for him.