When I was younger, I thought that being a parent was one of the most respected and worthwhile things to do/be. I wanted to be a mom so bad, and when the doctors told me that I may not be able to it crushed me. So finding out months later that I was pregnant changed my life. I’m just not convinced if it was for the better… Lol!
There are a lot of things that no one told me about being a parent. Being that I am a very generous person, I decided to dedicate this blog post to the facts of parenthood, from the views of a single mom.
- First and foremost, say good-bye to sleeping. Period. The minute you become pregnant, your sleep life becomes almost non-existent. Especially if the fetus likes to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. The bigger your stomach gets, the more difficult it is to get comfortable in the bed. A sleeping pillow is helpful, but that depends on the size of your stomach. The bigger the stomach, the less you sleep.
- You pee on yourself when you’re pregnant. If you sneeze, you pee. If you laugh, you pee. If you cough, you pee. If you burp, you pee. And the bigger the baby gets, the harder it is to hold your bladder to make it to the bathroom. I’ve pee’d on myself more times than I’d like to admit.
- IF you’re lucky, you don’t get nausea. I wasn’t so lucky. I was nauseous for the first 5 months of my first pregnancy. I literally couldn’t see, smell, think about, or hear about food or I would throw up. And I have absolutely no clue why they call it morning sickness because it lasts all day long. The only time I wasn’t throwing up was when I was trying to sleep. I lost so much weight that my doctor was scared and put me on anti-nausea medication.
- Heartburn. Acid reflux. Whatever you want to call it, it is BAD! The bigger the baby grows, and the more hair your baby gets, the worse your heartburn is. Tums and milk are the only things that are safe to use because antacids can harm the baby. Needless to say, after I got over my nausea, my loving ex went to the store and bought me a vanilla milk shake EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. God bless his heart.
- Contractions. Imagine cramps, times 100,000! Well, for me they were that bad because I don’t get my period so I don’t get cramps. I literally felt like my uterus was trying to fall out of my vagina. I couldn’t even walk- my kids’ dad had to half drag/half carry me to the car when it was time to go to the hospital. By then, my stomach was huge and I was a tad bit on the heavy side. I’m sure he struggled a bit. And then the epidural. I do not care what anyone says- that stupid thing has given me a lifetime of back problems. And I had 2! Smh. But, I will admit that with my 2nd pregnancy my contractions weren’t that bad. I was able to walk this time, so…
- Private time; I’m not sure that I know what that is anymore… Do you have a pet? Does it literally follow you around every part of the house? Well, that’s what kids do. *Disclaimer- I have toddlers. I have absolutely no clue what older kids do, but I’m hoping that it gets better as they get older (emoji insert)* The ONLY time I get to myself (when they’re home) is when they’re sleeping. I can’t eat, poop, shower, talk on the phone, take a nap, cook, read a book- ANYTHING!!!! without one of them being next to me. It’s mostly my son, although my daughter has moments of wanting to be up under me too. Once, I turned on every tv in the house, gave them snacks, their tablets, and all of their toys and hid in my room. I was only able to have 3 minutes and 28 seconds to myself before my son came looking for me. He just wanted to say hi…. (side eye)
- Wasted food. I cannot tell you how much food and money I have wasted on my kids. They’ll ask for something, you make it, then they decided they don’t want it anymore. Typical day- me: Bell, what do you want for breakfast? Bella: I want noodles mommy. Me: fats, you want noodles too? Jake: yea mommy, noodles! I make noodles for breakfast. They both come downstairs. Bell: ewww! I don’t like noodles mommy, I don’t want it! Jake: yucky mommy, no noodles! Me: you guys asked for noodles, so I made noodles. Bell: I’m not gonna eat it mom! I want cereal. They literally won’t eat it. I fought with them for 10 whole minutes before I finally just gave them cereal. And my noodles went into the trash.
- A messy house. Between my son and my daughter, I’m sure on of them hates me- I just can’t figure out which one. I will clean the whole house on Saturday and Sunday. They get home Sunday night, I’m in the kitchen cooking dinner. About 10 minutes later, I check on them in the living room and a tornado hit it. I ask them who did it, and they both say “it wasn’t me!” I don’t think I’m a mom anymore, I think I’m a nanny and I just don’t know it. I clean more than I do anything else.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. Many of the happiest moments in my life have to do with my children. I love waking up to them, rolling over and seeing them blink their eyes and smiling at me first thing in the am. How they run to me when I show up to their school after work. Their smiles, giggles, songs, dances- they make my life amazing. I just wish I knew about all of the “other” sides of being a mom. So, I will dedicate at least 1 more (maybe 2) posts on the woes of being a mom. Well, a single mom, because there is a HUGE difference when you don’t have any help.