I Like Cuddling & Long Walks…..

Full time job, full time small business, full time mom, and dating. Where does that fit in?

I am one of those old school moms- if I’m dating someone, you do not need to meet my kids. I think that’s fair. I mean, what guarantee do I have this it’s going to work? I need to make sure that my kids aren’t randomly meeting a new man every 4 months. Plus, there are a lot of weird people out there. But um, when do I have the time to date? Let’s see…. Work, kids, dinner, bath time, bed time, computer work, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. Can I fit a date somewhere in there?

How am I supposed to date? This is how I think it’ll go: I’m pumping gas in my car, and a tall handsome man walks over to me. “Hey, I’m Jax” (I like that name, it’s kind of sexy). “Hi Jax, I’m Kishna.” “So what do you do, Kishna?” “Well, I work full time, own a small business, and I’m a mom.” “How many kids do you have?” “2, a boy and a girl” “So, when can we spend some time together?” “I don’t know, I’ll have to put it into my schedule, find a sitter, and shave. I’ll let you know.” Yeah….. I don’t think that it will go over well. Especially because I really don’t feel like shaving….

Okay, so I do get breaks. My kid’s dad picks them up and gives me a few days off, but then I’m exhausted from when I had them. I need to catch up on my sleep and whatever work that I missed. And, I’m not coming over to “netflix and chill”. Whatever happened to the days where guys came to your door and picked you up, held doors open for you, pulled out your chair, and paid the WHOLE bill after dinner? I once went out with a guy that took me to a diner, asked me if I wanted to split the MEAL, then stated he was going to ask for separate checks. The bill was only $21.25 (yes, I distinctly remember the total). Needless to say, we haven’t been on another date since. Or, the guy who MET me somewhere (because I don’t like people knowing where I live), and he asked me for gas money…. Or the guy who was texting me and asked me could we have sex. I replied “no”, and he said, okay then have a great life. Or, the guy who kept sending pictures of his private parts to me; when I didn’t reciprocate, he proceeded to curse me out and said that I wasn’t that pretty to be acting all “boujie”. I once met a guy who fell in love with me. Via texts. We never actually went on a date. I had to block his number. And there was this white guy who insisted on showing me why white guys are “where it’s at”. I have NOT had the best of luck when it comes to dating.

So now, I’m just kind of…. Waiting. For God to tap me on the shoulder, and point to a guy somewhere in the crowd and say “that’s the one!” If only it was that easy, huh? The second option is if you have an older brother/cousin/uncle/friend that is handsome. I’m in the market for a tall, well educated, financially stable, already has children (because I am not having any more!), God-fearing, kind man. Tell him that Kishna said “heeeeeeeeeeeeeey!” (I really need to figure out how to make emoji’s! Lol)

 

Hello, World? Can I Catch A Break Now?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to have a really chilled glass of wine? Then drink the whole bottle in 5 gulps? No? Yeah, neither have I. But I have had days where I want to just lay in the bed all day long and ignore all my phone calls. And my rumbling stomach. How in the heck am I supposed to deal?

I hate having bad days. It’s like I have a bad day, and that’s when my kids decide that they want to be cranky, ask me a million questions, spill their food on the floor, pee on themselves, splash water everywhere during bath time, and refuse to go to sleep. By the end of the day, I’m ready to just pull all of my hair out. I think I have pulled some out. It was by accident though; I didn’t realize my strength that day (emoji face). Why can’t all of our days just be easy going? I feel like all moms should have the luxury of not having bad days. We carried babies for 40 weeks, and some of us had to get cut open to get them out. Give us a break dagonit!

I love my job. I love my life. I love my kids. And I hate bad days. Actually, I hate CONSECUTIVE bad days. One bad day I can deal with, but bad days back to back? That’s like the world is saying “hey, you! Yeah, you! I’m going to mess with you. Just because!” I mean, I know that’s not realistic, but that’s what it feels like. If the world was a person, I think I’d kick it’s a** every once in a while. I’m just saying…

So, I’ve come up with a way to manage the stress of life. Ready? The secret is…… Play hopscotch. No, Seriously- go play hopscotch! Hoolahoop. Do jumping jacks. Play with your kids. Being active makes you feel better. The only thing is, I’m really lazy. And by the end of the day, I don’t feel like being extremely active. But then, my daughter starts singing the hokey pokey and my son starts dancing around. And all of a sudden I get this burst of energy and we all start dancing, jumping, and singing all over the house. We run around, we act silly, and we fall down laughing. The antidote to a crappy day is happy kids. At least, my antidote is.

So come on world, send me another crappy day! Well, no. Don’t actually send me another one; I hate those. But if you do send me one, my babies will make mommy feel better. And, I’ll still be gorgeous. I really wish that I could put emoji’s in this thing…. (emoji face)

Friends! How Many of Us Have Them?

One of my favorite tv shows was Sex and the City. I used to always believe that as I got older, I would have a group of friends; it would be the 4 of us, we would have amazing jobs, killer wardrobes, lots of money, handsome husbands (or fiances), and successful careers. I currently have 1 long time friend…..

What the heck happened? Where did all my friends go? And why did they go away? Welp…. First and foremost, I have kids. Which means that I don’t really have a lot of spare time to just go out with people for drinks and whatnot. And the closest friend I do have has kids. And a husband (that wench!), and a job, and a small business, and a new born baby….. Now that I think about it, she has the life that I’m supposed to have… Let me go call her and tell her that we can’t be friends anymore. I’ll be right back…..

Seriously. Everyone I know has kids now. And a job. And some are even starting their own small businesses. This is all great, but leaves us all with absolutely NO time for a social life (at least, that’s what I have to keep telling myself in order to make it true). The reality (at least for me) is that I’m reclusive. I’m an introvert and I like to stay to myself. Which is horrible for business! (I wish I could put emoji’s on here). So I have been forcing myself to make time and be more social. It’s actually working.

I met this young lady who has 2 children. She just graduated with her bachelors degree, and she is on her way to starting up her own small business. She’s really smart, positive, and funny. I like her. Then, of course, there’s my best friend (when I called to break up with her, she didn’t answer. So, she’s still around. Lol). She’s in school for mortuary science, and she’s started her business doing funeral obituaries. She’s pretty smart too. And, I guess I have to give her credit for sticking with me for so many years. And every black girl has to have 1 white friend. I love my white girl; she’s my Caucasian persuasion. She has a great career doing recreational therapy (google it), and she’s on her way to moving up the corporate ladder. And she has really long brunette hair that I’m always running my fingers through. Hold on, I have to call her too….. And there’s my younger girlfriend who has a really cushy job working at a  university. Easy hours, great pay. She’s going back to school for her masters, and then to get a better job with easy hours and great pay. She’s also very smart. Then there’s…. wait. No, that’s all I have as friends. (Again, a perfect emoji insert right here!)

Am I the only person at the age of 29 (minus 1.5 months; don’t judge me) to only have 4 friends? Wait- I just realized that I have my clique! Ooooooohhhhhhh, I need to make a girls night and invite everyone over for drinks and games and crabs! But my best friend has a crazy work schedule and when she comes home her husband goes to work, and the recent grad works kind of late hours so the weekends probably would be best, my Caucasian persuasion has a 2nd job that she works most days so I would have to see when she’s free…. See? (Again, PERFECT emoji insert!!!!!)

Anyways, having a life and kids and friends and a social life is like trying to stick the thread into a needle hole- it’s possible, but you gotta be damned good at it! Lol! Or like trying to get my 19 month old son to eat with a spoon and not make a mess. Unless its dry foods, it’s nearly impossible! I’m working on it. The schematics for that is right next to my time machine; just another project that I’m working on mastering. Wait, have I even mastered ANY of my projects yet?…… (You guessed it, emoji insertion!!!)

Is Saving Money Possible?

There are so many self-help books and websites out now that claim to teach you how to save money and invest in your future. Open up saving accounts, IRA’s, stocks, blah, blah, blah. I’ve tried a bunch of different ways to save money, and I’ve failed a bunch of times.

So, how did I finally figure out how to save money? I didn’t. I just managed to manage my money better. I have 2 separate accounts in which I divide my money into. One account I use to pay all of my bills, and the other account I use for miscellaneous activities. And I use my online banking app. This helps me to track all of the money that I am putting out, and allows me to check what my remaining balance is.

The first thing that I do is tithe, I put 10% of whatever I make aside so that when I go to church I have it on hand. Then I pay whatever upcoming bills I have: rent, car insurance, house insurance, kids’ schools, diapers, wipes, etc, etc, etc. Whatever I have left (hopefully it’s more than $10), I use for what I need. I don’t save. At least, I don’t think this is saving. I tried putting money into a closed saving account in which I wouldn’t touch, and something random happened and I had to touch it. I gave money to a close relative to hold every time I got paid, and again I had to touch the money. I realized that I don’t make enough money to save! Lol! So I figured out that I needed additional income. So I started my own business. Now, that does make a huge difference in cash flow, and how much money I have left over after paying necessary bills.

My advice? Find something that your good at, and charge people for it. It doesn’t have to be much- $5 for helping fix resumes, $10 for babysitting, $20 for a batch of cookies or a pretty cake. And watch those small funds add up. They make a huge difference in what you have left over at the end of the month, and you’re not pinching pennies or eating ramen noodles for dinner every night of the week.

Now, don’t get me wrong- if you never learn to manage your money, you’ll always be in the red no matter what you do. You can make $300 a week or $3,000 a week and still be broke. Financial management has been a huge issue for my generation. And I have, by no means, figured out the key to making money last longer. But I am working on the key to figuring it out. It’s right next to my schematics on building my time machine. It should be completed by March 2020. 🙂

Introducing….. Me!

Hey Guys!

My name is Kishna. I’m a mother of 2 beautiful little toddlers, I work full time, I have a full time small business, and now I’m a blogger. My life is absolutely amazing, absolutely crazy, absolutely hectic, and absolutely all mines.

Have you ever thought of what your life would be like AFTER you decided to have children? I’m pretty sure you had everything figured out. You would have the kid (check), stay home for the full 6 weeks + to care for your child (check), you would have a spouse to help you with your child, work, and home life (check), you would work shorter hours so that you could spend more time with your child (check), you would have an awesome work/life balance (check). Now let’s look at reality. If you’re anything like me, you started back working right after you got cleared from the doctor, your spouse and you didn’t really work out according to plan, and you feel guilty because there is no way in the world your kids still remember who you are! Obviously, this isn’t the way I thought that things would go.

Okay, so I am exaggerating a bit. I have found a way to balance out my work and home life pretty decently, but it took a whole heck of a lot of practice and discipline. And a lot of guilt (on my part). Why do we always feel guilty that we aren’t spending enough time with our kids? Or that our kids are somehow being neglected if we pick them up late, work while we’re home, or we put them to bed early? This was definitely not in the plan when I decided to have children. But, who’s plans go according to schedule anyways?

This is my blog- about my life, after I had my kids. Join me for a crazy, fun, dramatic, whirlwind adventure as I laugh and cry about my crazy parenting/single/working life experiences.

Welcome, and enjoy!